relatively large city located between Osaka and Kyoto. And Yawata is the home of a guy named Carl.I met Carl on August 3, 2007. Carl needed a ride from Santa Rosa to San Francisco and I was happy to oblige. Since I was staying in San Francisco at the time, driving to Santa Rosa and back was inconvenient. But the guy needed a ride and hadn't gotten any offers. So I thought I'd do my good deed for the day and pick him up.
Carl wanted me to pick him up at 11:00 a.m. I arrived at 11:30. Little did I know, the fact that I arrived 30 minutes late really ticked him off and was strike one against the survival of our budding friendship.
Strike two, unbeknown to me at the time, came a few days later when, as far as Carl was concerned, I did a little too much sightseeing in Tokyo and not enough boring-and-worthless-meeting-attending.
Strike three, which also came as a surprise to me, happened yesterday when Carl asked me if he could come visit me in March and I said I wasn't sure if I would be around for him to visit.
When did I find
out that I had struck out? This morning, around 10:00, when Carl kicked me out of his apartment.Back in August, for about three days in Tokyo, I spent almost all of my free time with Carl. When it came time to say good-bye, I was sad that I wouldn't get to continue hanging out with him. But we kept in touch and back in November, after quite a bit of back-and-forth planning, agreed that I could come visit him from December 28-January 6.
As my departure date grew nearer, I mentioned to some of my friends that I had a tiny ol' bit of apprehension regarding such a long stay with someone I didn't know all that well. But I hoped for the best and caught my flight, as scheduled.
When I arrived at Carl's place late at night on December 28, I was happy to see him again and he seemed happy to see me, too. But almost immediately, and over the course of the next four days, I noticed some peculiar behavior on Carl's part.
Here's a summary of some of Carl's odd ways, which, if looked at individually, may not seem all that unusual, but taken as a whole sure do make for a strange mix:
Carl has neither a landline nor a cell phone. Carl has a television, but only for the purpose of watching videos (he has no television antenna/receiver). Carl does not have an Int
ernet connection at home. Carl gives his home address out only when absolutely necessary, making me one of only a tiny handful of "institutions" that know it. Carl insists that his students call him by his last name. (He proudly told me that that probably makes him the only foreigner who does so.) Carl told me he takes a shower every other day, period. Carl eats oatmeal for breakfast every day and knows the exact date that his stash of five bags will run out. Carl eats rice with his meal twice a day. Carl is very aware of the outdoor and indoor temperatures at his apartment and mentioned that he only wears gloves if the outdoor temperature drops below 50 F. Speaking of temperature, Carl told me not to adjust the temperature setting in the shower since he had it set "just right," not too hot and not too cold. (As if he knows what temperature everyone likes to shower at.) Carl knows what day his five or six tubes of toothpaste will last until. Carl opened the sliding door to his room one night and asked me to go to sleep since the light in the room I was in, along with the sound of me turning the pages of a magazine, were keeping him up. (How the hell light travels through walls is beyond me!) Carl weighs his plants to determine how much water to give them, since he gives the plants the same amount of water every time. (He even keeps a record of the measurements.). Carl is bothered by all kinds of smoke, not just cigarette smoke. When talking about directions, "left" and "right" aren't good enough for Carl; he needs to discuss cardinal directions as well. Carl 
has been wearing the same flip-flops for something like 20 years. On our first night out and about in Kyoto, Carl practically dragged me home with him for dinner around 6:30 p.m. (I almost gave in but then insisted that I'd rather spend some more time in the amazing city. So he went home alone. The next day, New Year's Eve no less, he went home alone around 5:00 p.m., and the day after that he bailed at around 4:00 p.m. And Carl is a self-described "moralist" who "never" makes anyone wait for anything.How's that for freakish?
This morning, after breakfast, the freak asked me for "clarification" regarding his request, made two days earlier, to come visit me in March. I told him what I told him before: "I'm not sure if I'll be home on the days you want to visit, since I'll also have vacation and don't exactly want to hang out in my village when I can be out exploring Japan. Besides, I often do things spontaneously, so I haven't even thought about what's going on in March. Give me some time and we'll see."
(Now, you have to imagine that, had I not observed such strange behavior in Carl, I might have welcomed him with open arms. But under the circumstances, there was no way I was going to do such a thing.)
His response the first time (imaginary gun pointed at my head), not quite verbatim: "Well, you're visiting me now so you need to reciprocate. That's what friends do. I can't understand what's wrong with me visiting you in March. When can you let me know? Let me know in two days because I have to plan these things. OK?"
His response this morning: "You said you're spontaneous so here's some spontaneity -- you're no longer welcome to stay here."
That's when the freak told me about how I racked up my three strikes. And that's when all the "moralist" stuff came out, including his remarks that it would be immoral of me to not pay him 4000 yen (about $35) for each of the four nights that I stayed there. Apparently, the freak has high moral standards and I don't live up to them.
(It turns out he was more-or-less prepared to kick me out as soon as I gave him my answer the first time, but he decided to wait a couple days to do that and then offer me a sort of second chance, if you will, to see if I would change my mind and be more open to the idea of him visiting me.)
I told the freak that I had made a mistake for thinking I could stay with him so long, since we hardly knew each other. And I told the freak it's too bad we don't get along, but that's life. And I told the freak that it's not cool to invite people to stay for a week if they have two strikes against them to begin with. And I told the freak that the next time he invites someone over, he should have them sign a contract declaring that they understand exactly what is expected of them and exactly how he will treat them.
And I told the freak in all sincerity that it was nice of him to kick me out that morning, rather than the night before, because leaving in the middle of the night would have been most inconvenient. (He basically said he had been thinking along the same lines and was happy to see me off with a good night's sleep behind me and a stomach full of food. Sounds to me like he has some stalker-like qualities. Don't you think? And he said that he can't trust me. I'm surprised he didn't put poison in my oatmeal!)
Oh. And I told him that he's a freak. And then I said good-bye.
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